Madly in love with my Husband Adam and proud Mama to our son Brodie James Basil & our rainbow, Ari Rupert. Here you will find me chasing happiness & surviving life after Baby loss.

Thanks for stopping by.

Mrs Carrick x

Friday, 23 March 2018

Im just not ready....

I’m just not ready. 

I’m just not ready to watch you grow up any more. I’m not ready to wave goodbye to you at the nursery door...

Your still my precious baby. My miracle little boy and my heart breaks every time I think about you starting pre-school and having time away from me. Your my mini best bud, we are inseparable and we have spent every day of your life so far together. .... Im not ready for this to change. Not yet anyway. 

The truth is I worry about you all the time. You’ve been through so much with us this past year and seeing how much it affected you makes me want to protect you a whole lot more. Your so much more anxious when I’m not around you and I need to find a nursery that understands that. You need a lot of reassurance, love and care and I need to find someone I can relay on to give you that when I’m not there. 

You are a kind, gentle, loving little boy but your also incredibly sensitive yet I know deep down spending time apart from me will help your beautiful little personality shine through again. 

At every toddler class we've been too I always notice that at times, despite been nearly 10ft tall you are still little. Your my summer born babe and there is a big difference between you and those who are nearly a whole year older. 


can't wait to hear about your day. I can't wait to see you make new friends and I can't wait to pick you up and have you wrap your arms around my neck for a cuddle. I can't wait to cry happy tears when I watch you in your first nativity, and take part in your first sports day. I can't wait to see the excitement on your face when you get your first party invitation and Im excited to hear about all the new things you learn. 

I just wish there was a way I could slow time down. Your ready for Nursery but your Mama is not...

Because I'm just not ready for my baby to grow up. 

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