Madly in love with my Husband Adam and proud Mama to our son Brodie James Basil & our rainbow, Ari Rupert. Here you will find me chasing happiness & surviving life after Baby loss.

Thanks for stopping by.

Mrs Carrick x

Friday, 15 December 2017

All I want for Christmas....

All I want for Christmas is probably very obvious to most. You see what I want for Christmas I should have by now, or be very close to having....

This time last year I had Baby fighting her way through all the problems my body was putting her through. We had endless trips to hospital but I was so excited, so hopeful for the little bean growing inside of me. 

We spoke endlessly about ‘next christmas’ having two to buy for, two to love. Adding another ‘baby’s 1st Christmas’ bauble to our tree’.  Yet it didn’t go that way & instead I’m left empty armed & broken hearted. 

December brings me a month of reflection. I always find my self thinking back over the year, what have I achieved? The highlights and the low parts. 2017 has truly been the most difficult year of my entire life and only recently have I sat there and thought ‘how the f**k am I still standing?’ 

Yes 2017, you may have done your upmost best to destroy me but my biggest achievement is the fact I’m still here, still fighting and still going, even after all the pain and all the heartache. 

To all those other mothers who have lost their precious babies this year, I am sending you so much love. I know how hard these events are, how it highlights even more that apart of your family is missing, how the slightest thing is the biggest trigger.

I can only hope and pray 2018 is a happy, healthy year for all. 

Because all I want for Christmas is you....

Disclaimer..... It takes a lot for me to share pictures of my precious girls, please keep any negative comments to yourself. They are my babies and deserve to be talked about, loved and shown to the world. Perfect in every way, just too small to survive. 

Mrs Carrick xo

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