Madly in love with my Husband Adam and proud Mama to our son Brodie James Basil & our rainbow, Ari Rupert. Here you will find me chasing happiness & surviving life after Baby loss.


Thanks for stopping by.



Mrs Carrick x



Thursday, 28 September 2017

Building a false chimney breast





Having needed a bit of a distraction from life recently I decided to set my Husband the task of building a false chimney breast in the centre of our living room. We have spoken about it before as we have always felt our living room has been so big and not cosy. 


Monday, 25 September 2017

Angel Carrick




Its been three weeks now and I think its time you got the dedication you deserved. My sweet, beautiful baby girl. Another girl I couldn't keep. Another angel in the sky.


Friday, 22 September 2017

You are my constant





With you my husband, I have always found happiness. I have always found a reason to smile, laugh and feel joy. You really are one in a million and as silly as it may sound, I still fall in love with you over and over again eight years later. 


Sunday, 10 September 2017

Dear Eastenders....

Dear Eastenders, 

I have recently watched the episode in which you have tried to portray baby loss at 18 weeks. Although I think it is so, so important to make others aware of Baby loss and how it can impact people's lives, I'm slightly concerned at how 'easy' you made it seem. 

I have lost two babies at 18 weeks. Both very traumatic but in different ways. My first baby was born at home on the bathroom floor and my second in hospital. 

For me, both times my labour started with intense contractions & my waters breaking. My baby was then delivered but just like in a normal birth my baby was born alive. Then the cord needed to be cut and the placenta needed to be delivered? Who did this? Why was she not in more pain? How was she not bleeding? 

With my second birth I lost 1.3L of blood, had retained placenta, was rushed to theatre and ended up in the High Dependency Unit critically ill. I had the lowest blood pressure my midwife has ever seen, I kept going in and out of consciousness and I needed a blood transfusion. Both this was traumatic for myself but for my husband and my mother who had to witness this.

Giving birth at 18 weeks is not easy. There are normally many complications and I don't think the way you have portrayed a miscarriage at 18 weeks is fair. 

Please seek advice from midwives, charities and people who have horrendously experienced a late miscarriage before doing what you think is right and what you think would happen. 

Because your wrong. Oh so wrong. 

Kind Regards 

Mrs Carrick.... a baby loss survivor 

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Im Faulty...




From as young as I can remember I always pictured myself a mum surrounded by lots of children feeling nothing but contentment. It's all I dreamed off. I loved children, and couldn't wait for the day I held my very own baby in my arms.