Madly in love with my Husband Adam and proud Mama to our son Brodie James Basil & our rainbow, Ari Rupert. Here you will find me chasing happiness & surviving life after Baby loss.


Thanks for stopping by.



Mrs Carrick x



Thursday, 29 June 2017

Life After Pregnancy Loss; Results



last week we met with our consultant to discuss my final blood tests results. I never blogged about our first meeting with the consultant as I could never get the words together. I was such an emotional mess and I wasn't in a very good place at that time. 

Long story short, after giving birth I had a lot of tests done to try and find a reason behind spontaneously going into labour. One of my blood tests came back as borderline positive for something called Lupus Anticoagulant . This is a blood clotting disorder which can affect your pregnancy in different ways. The good news is that if I have Lupus there is treatment available which involves taking aspirin and blood thinner injections daily. The treatment increases the chances of you having a live baby from 10-70%. 

The downside? I had to wait 5 weeks before I could have the test to confirm it as the blood tests had to be completed 12 weeks apart. Last month I had the test done so have recently been waiting for the results. It's been such an emotional rollercoaster dealing with the uncertainty. 

Last week we learnt that the tests have come back as negative. Which is amazing news but why am I still so sad? 

Having this negative results means that we have no real answer behind losing Baby Carrick. I'm trying to get my head around it all. Of course it's amazing news not to have the blood clotting disorder, but with no real answers surely that means it could happen again!? 

I'm not sure 'Bad Luck' is a good enough reason behind losing my Baby and I'm not sure it's something I will ever get over. My body let them down end off.

I really wanted this to be the end of the chapter. But I just can't seem to shut the book without knowing what would have caused my placenta abruption. It worries me that with no diagnosis and no treatment it could all just happen again? 

I've been having a bit of a social media break, a break away from all the baby bumps and pregnancy announcements. It's so, so hard knowing that it should be me and I should be a few weeks away from holding my baby. 

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