Madly in love with my Husband Adam and proud Mama to our son Brodie James Basil & our rainbow, Ari Rupert. Here you will find me chasing happiness & surviving life after Baby loss.

Thanks for stopping by.

Mrs Carrick x

Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Two Years on....How did we get here?

Last week marked two whole years since we first discovered we were going to be parents. Two years since we first saw those two blue lines and two years since our lives changed. I really cannot believe our journey as parents started two years ago. Where has that time gone?

I still remember the day we first saw those two lines. The initial shock, excitement and fear that soon followed. I can hands on my heart say that it changed our lives for the better and now looking at our beautiful 16 month old baby boy, my heart is so, so full.

I honestly cannot remember life before Brodie. What did we do at the weekends? What did we talk about? Where did all our money go? Now, our weekends are filled with family adventures, creating memories which I will treasure forever. Our conversation 99% of the time involves Brodie. (I really do apologise to our friends. They must get so bored of the Brodie talk). Our money is spent making sure he has everything he needs, on family holidays and weekends away.

Our journey as parents has seen so many firsts. The first smile, the first word, the first steps. The first family holiday, the first time on the plane, the first Christmas. There are so many firsts that make every day as a parent worth it.

First smiles

First Christmas

I look at my son now and can't help but think how did we get here? How is he now 16 months? He's climbing everything, running everywhere and learning new things everyday. The newborn haze of feeding every few hours, the night feeds and the sleepy cuddles all feel like a distant memory. I would do anything to go back in time and savour our last night feed just one more time. To hold my tiny  newborn baby on my chest whilst he slept so peacefully. I always feel like I never appreciated those moments enough, before you know it they no longer wake in the night or want those sleepy cuddles.

My journey as a mother has brought me so much happiness, made me a stronger, more confident person and taught me so much about myself. I felt so ready to become a mum, I felt like it was my purpose in life... the reason I was put on this earth. But I was never prepared to feel the overwhelming love that I do. It is something that you will never be able to describe and never understand until you have a child of your own.

One week old

Greece 2016

As someone who worked with children, I used to be so frustrated with the parents who found it hard to say goodbye, found it hard to leave their children in nursery. I now sympathise so much more with those parents. I hate leaving Brodie and the thoughts of sending him to nursery terrify me.

I feel so lucky to be a stay at home mum. The bond I now have with my son is incredible. We have the best days together, he is my best friend. I laugh, he laughs. Two years ago I would never have expected to be spending everyday at home, I loved my job but now, I wouldn't trade it for the world. The one thing I have learnt as a parent is you will do whatever, whenever to keep your baby happy and being a stay at home mummy is giving him the best start in life.

Center Parcs, New Years 2015

Life as a mother keeps getting better and better. There is always a new reason to love him and even when you are going through the darkest times, there is always a new reason to smile. I feel so lucky to be this boys 'Mumma'. The one he comes too when he is sad, the one he wants at 2am in the morning, the one he kisses goodnight too and the one he smiles good morning too. Everyday as a mum to this boy is the best day. I feel so very, very grateful. 

Skin to skin snuggles

'Before you have your first baby you are a girl, and then you become a mother. 
There is no transition into being a woman; 
you literally become a mum and being a mum always means 
you love someone else more that you love yourself 
and its an unexplainable situation.'

Mrs Carrick x

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