Madly in love with my Husband Adam and proud Mama to our son Brodie James Basil & our rainbow, Ari Rupert. Here you will find me chasing happiness & surviving life after Baby loss.

Thanks for stopping by.

Mrs Carrick x

Monday, 30 November 2015

Brodies (nearly) 6 month Update!

Oh Brodie where have the last six months gone. I cannot believe in two weeks time we will be celebrating your half a year birthday! I know its cliche but the last six months really have been the happiest six months of my life.

You are such a happy little bubba (the majority of the time) and everyone notices how laid back and content you are. Well I suppose you would be with such a chilled out daddy! It doesn't take much to get the contagious little smile across your face and it makes me so happy that you wake up with the biggest smile and always give me the biggest smile when I kiss you night in the evening.

Being your mummy is the most rewarding job in the world. Somedays are harder than others, especially when your a little pickle but the truth is Brodes, I'm new to this too! I will always do my best to be the best mummy to you but bare with me, I can't get everything right everyday!

Your weaning journey is going really well. You absolutely love all your fruit and vegetables and I cannot wait for you to start enjoying new foods and tastes! It makes me super proud that your not fussy like your Mumma! Your favourite foods are swede, Banana, mango, and butternut squash! Im pretty sure you would eat banana all day if Mumma let you!

You have being sleeping through the night for about 8 weeks now! Sometimes you wake up but your such a good boy and always manage to fall back to sleep. You moved into your own room and your big boys cot and I miss you not being next to me. (I cried every night for over a week) I miss our 4am snuggles and our co-sleeping but I'm so proud of you! We still enjoy our day time snoozes together in the big bed, all snuggled up! Your still not very good at going to sleep during the day though. I have never known a baby stay awake in an hours pram walk, or in a long car drive but you do! Its lucky Mumma is here to sing you off to sleep as that seems to be the only way you will fall to sleep! Your favourite song is still 'you are my sunshine' & 6 months later I still have my random moments of crying whilst singing it to you! I just love you so much!

You absolutely love your swimming lessons and next term move up into the next class, 'splashers' which you are going to be amazing at! You are such a splasher, constantly soaking Mumma and all the other babies with your crazy kicks and splashing hands! You are super clever and can now swim under water all by yourself and for the first time last week, we swam under water together!

You have recently decided that you hate lying down. You have always hated tummy time so you hate it when you roll over and get stuck! Your a little gymnast at the moment shuffling yourself up and down the mat and rolling all over the place. I really hope its not long before you crawl because you hate being stuck in one place! Your new favourite thing to do is stand, you seem to think learning to stand is more fun than learning to sit ! Such a monkey!

You still go crazy in your Jumperoo! Its so funny to watch! You think your such a dare devil jumping without holding on! I think being in the jumperoo is where your love for standing has come from! We had to pack away your baby swing this week as you cannot stand it anymore! You used to love it so much and its so sad that you have all ready outgrown it!

Last week your third tooth cut through and I think I can see the 4th! Your so good and have barely fussed at all! Everything goes in your mouth though so they are obviously bothering you!

Our weekends together with Daddy are the best! You are so besotted with your daddy! Your two peas in a pod and you love having him around! You go so crazy with excitement when daddy walks in from work and love it when he baths you! Our weekends are always spent enjoying our time with you and taking you out to explore the world! You love your new baby carrier so now we can enjoy even more walks together!  

Its crazy how fast the last 6 months have gone but I am excited for all the holidays, weddings, and watching your grow up in the next 6 months!

Thursday, 12 November 2015

Falling in love with a moment

I have ummed and arred about posting this post for so long because I did not want other people to get the wrong impressions but here we go!

I saw this quote and it made me stop and think;

'Have you ever fallen in love with a moment? With its magic, its irrelevance to reality and its reassuring spirit? I have, I have and I wish you too find the moment, your moment, the one that will feel as if heaven has lent you a few of its intriguing moments' 

It instantly brought me back to a special moment, the first time I ever saw Adam holding Brodie.

This moment will forever be my favourite. I remember the first time I held Brodie. Of course I loved it, those skin to skin snuggles were the most precious few moments but nothing beats watching the man you love with your child. Something you have both wanted for so long.

After the emergency C section I was so limited in movement, couldn't lift Brodie out of his cot or stand for more than a few moments without being in hideous amounts of pain. For this reason Adam had to do everything for me, shower me, help me to the toilet, dress me, inject me with blood thinners and keep me laughing through all the tears and roller coaster of emotions. Not only did he have to do everything for me, he had to do everything for Brodie. Run down the corridor at 1am and 4am to make a bottle, lift him out of his cot to pass him to me, wash and sterilise all the bottles, sleep on a hospital floor for 6 days just so he could be there for us and deal with the doctors and nurses who would keep coming back with bad news!

I had dreamed of doing all those things for Brodie when he first arrived yet there I was bed bound and unable too, I felt completely useless. It was frustrating, but I was so so lucky that Adam was incredible. Its when your put in a situation like that I realised how much love Adam gives me every single day. Flowers and presents are nice but those real moments of love are amazing. You wont know what love is until you experience a moment like this.

In six months time we will be getting married and I will gain a new surname. The same surname the rest of my family share. Do not get me wrong I am so incredibly excited for our wedding day. Its a day we have spoken about for six years. It will be a day full of love and happiness surrounded by our favourite friends and family.

But people always say weddings are the happiest day of your life. However if its not the happiest day of my life I won't stress, theres many more moments in my life left to come. I want a marriage more beautiful than our wedding. Am I going to worry over making sure everything is perfect so people don't judge me? No. A wedding is a party, not a performance. It will be an amazing day, I will marry my childhood sweetheart, have my son in my arms and fall in love all over again.